Showing posts with label Destiny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Destiny. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

A Choice ... a Compromise or Destiny..??





 I have lived my life and in the twilight years often I look back and smile at the incidents, experiences… associations formed… lost. At this juncture of life, it just seems that a documentary is being rolled out and “the Scriptwriter” is still busy pulling strings from above n directing the lives of us, earthy mortals.

On second thought…the script has already been written, and we are playing our part/role in this play called “life”. Our soul is learning certain lessons of life through the physical form/ character we all have adorned.

It amuses me. We meet these characters and form associations, bonds which continue for a short time while some remain and some just disappear into oblivion, gone.

Just like waves in the ocean meet at shores for a while and then again take off on their journey leaving no trace behind. But in life, everyone leaves an impression on our lives……

My elephant memory is always active; it doesn’t let me sit in peace…. I often remember those associations and now I want to treasure them in my diary or my blog…

I met Pam through a common friend Vidush, who was my brother’s batchmate and my cousin’s childhood friend. Our chance meeting was official but we struck a chord and it developed into a beautiful association.

He introduced me to another friend of his who needed a little push in blog writing as she was in a habit of penning her thoughts. We both got in touch and spoke telephonically.

What did I hear? A soft husky voice, speaking intelligently with a tinge of wit and laughter. Over the short period, we were acquainted and spoke over the phone regularly since we were sitting miles apart in two different cities.

But I was curious. She always sounded very cautious while talking and often I felt a surge of emotions ready to pour out but she was in perfect control. Was it my fig of imagination …? Overthinking?

I asked her to share a pic of herself as she didn’t have any social media account…. Strange, in today’s times when the whole world has shrunk into the virtual world of mobile phones she doesn’t have a social media presence?

Within minutes a pic flashed in my inbox. What did I see? A fair short-statured, well-groomed smiling woman sitting next to her husband. This picture spoke a thousand words…..

A very wealthy background, a high place in society where sparkling diamonds are like twinkling stars of a starry night. “What am I doing with her … not my scene? But I’m here to push her and help her with her blog…I reminded myself.”

I glanced back at the pic….suddenly I realized my initial readings were somehow not wrong. Her eyes spoke unsaid words….I zoomed on the pic……smile was infectious, eyes were glistening ….. Do I detect unshed tears, trauma…pain? She was a person who was putting up a brave front, fighting her demons.

The person sitting next to her was also an interesting character to read…. He is a practical, successful person yet sitting defensively with his arms tightly folded as though warding off something.

Finally, when we both met, I found her a very well organized, efficient, caring but a little domineering or overbearing person. She liked to be in control of situations to run things smoothly whether at home or outside.

But she was very careful and cautious before uttering something. She was not sure how much she could trust me. She doesn’t let people step into her life casually.

Slowly we developed some rapport and I came to know her pain… tension and trauma. The reason behind it was her husband’s involvement with other ladies, no not ladies but young girls. I do not know what is the compulsion for these young girls/females, who get drawn to such relationships…. money, lust, or sex for fun?

But it seems he’s at no point of return unless God has drafted some different lines in the script of their lives.

She comes from a joint family and was married at a very young age, just out of her teens. She lives in a dream world and still hopes her husband would come back to her, which is highly doubtful.

 Or ... Maybe I do not have all the facts as to why he went astray, to no point of return. But one thing is sure he’s having the best of both worlds….. a cosy home, financially strong and a colourful life outside in the company of young girls and booze.

Then I asked her the obvious question, “What do you want from your life? Your kids are grown up, married with their own families. They know everything about their father yet they don’t have a remedy for your problem.”

“Start writing; edit … polish whatever you’ve written.” But despite every assurance to help her in the creative work she just didn’t show any inclination to move ahead.

Amidst all this pandemonium where is Pam? Everyone around her is busy moving ahead with their own life. What is she doing with her life?

She keeps travelling and taking refuge in the mountains of Uttrakhand, where she finds solace. A lost, lonely woman looking for that little carefree girl who once happily roamed around those pine trees.

 Her fondness for mountains is famous among her friends n family, so our dear friend, Vidush calls her “Pahari Bakri” (a mountain goat)

Her immediate family, mother, uncles, her kids… everyone knows her story but the only solution they offer….. "Stay put, you have everything… money, status, luxury and comforts of life. What else do you need now at this point in life?"

Lo n behold ….Is this what we women live for?

Would I ever give this advice to my daughter or would she accept this remedy? NEVER.

Recently she said to me, “I was born and brought up with a silver spoon and married to a golden spoon.”

Wowww!! What a heavy price for all the silver and gold spoons. (No sarcasm meant here but just an outburst.)

Is this an easy choice or a compromise or was it destiny, her soul had to learn some lessons in this life?? This question looms large in front of me.

But in reality, one has to find solutions to their problems, as it is one’s journey and one alone has to tread on it. Friends or family members can lend their support but the initial step has to be taken by the person fighting his/her battles.

Personally, I feel life is difficult and full of conflicts. But in reality, it is all about our ability to face all the ups and downs with a positive attitude because storms never last forever…..seasons change!!!

PS: Recently she admitted that she thinks she has to learn certain lessons in life and spread love, compassion n happiness among others.