This post is dedicated to Joyce…..
Yes, this was the name given to her by the American Missionary friends of her
family. Today in the twilight years, she often sits alone with a cup of tea and
reminisces of her bygone sixty-five years.
“She has hated this woman. She
has not loved herself and has allowed others to tell her she
wasn't good enough.
She allowed herself to be
broken. She let others treat her disrespectfully. She fought battles for others,
knowing they would never stand for her.
She bungled up many times as a friend, a
daughter, a wife or mom because she has a smart mouth who doesn’t always say
nor do the right things.
She goes without makeup; she doesn’t dress up half the time nor would pretend to be someone she is not.
She has learnt lessons from her failures, trials, and disappointments with sheer grit and faced the challenges boldly. This has made her brave.. proud of who she is.
She puts up a brave front yet
she is afraid. She’s broken but standing gracefully.
Some people love this brave woman, some dislike her; people, on the whole, find her difficult. But nobody can ignore her and one thing is sure if she loves you, she will do it with her whole heart, she would be committed to you.”
The above summary of Warrior
woman fits Joyce very well. She has come a long way, two failed marriages,
trust betrayed, criticized …..
But wait, was she looking for
trust in the wrong places?
Didn’t she believe in herself?
Why she felt guilty when she was
told she wasn't good enough?
Why she was devoid of the
emotion called LOVE or sex, a physical need was that mistaken as love?
Why she couldn’t free herself from her shackles?
These questions loom large in front of You…Me...n…Us. We often come across such troubled women. Every person has a story to tell, we all have our share of heaven and hell to live.
Are they jinxed??? Why are they
compromising??? Is it for the sake of kids or the fear of society?
Mind you they don’t break in one day….. It takes years of mental n physical abuse to break somebody by constantly reminding them that they are worthless.
They suffer silently while their spirit is crushed; dreams are taken away, confidence is broken.
Yet a spark n hope is hidden in
some corner of their heart which whispers, ‘stand up, dust yourself …. Life is
not unfair, it’s beautiful…. Live for yourself. Don’t believe what others have
been telling you.’
Life is not a bed of roses… true, everyone struggles for survival. But breaking away…. it’s a tough decision.
When they finally decide that
enough is enough and step out of their cocoon, the whole world is new to them.
They feel naked without a shell around them.
They regret how much time they
wasted living in fear…while time and years just flew away….
But better late than never…. more importantly, they forgive their abusers and move ahead taking those years as learning lessons to improve their souls.
What a hard way to learn the
lessons?
They may smile or laugh but they hide the pain, insecurities…tread carefully ahead not trusting anybody, that’s the saddest part of life. They have miles to go before they discover themselves.
I wrote this post taking Joyce
as an example because ours is a patriarchal society where men, be it a father,
brother, husband or son, play a dominant role.
I have seen women being ruled by male counterparts. Families put in more faith in strangers to marry off their daughters rather than educating them and help them to become professionally.. financially independent.
Women are forced to hand over their earnings to their fathers, husbands or in-laws. This I am quoting from my experience, seeing educated, professionally qualified women around me in my circle.
I have always felt that women are very strong personalities, despite facing all the opposition and adverse situations they come out strong. If a woman loses her husband she prefers bringing up kids singlehandedly but when a man loses his wife he needs another woman in his life to take care of his family.
In my earlier posts, I had mentioned that I strongly feel that God has not abandoned us on this planet. We all are here with a support system; in fact, we are part of that system.
Knowingly or unknowingly we
become supportive to someone….. bring smile on someone’s face, restore somebody’s
confidence, help people to heal up emotionally. The list is long…
Look around you… one doesn’t
have to look far. You may bring a smile or sunshine into someone’s life.
Be somebody’s sunshine!!!!
